In an earlier post, I talked about wanting to be young. Now I am going to address the elephant in the room......I hope I live long enough to see this young son of mine to adulthood. When you are an older parent, it's impossible not to think of dying. No parent wants to leave a child behind, but I don't remember dwelling on that when my older son was younger.
Now, I think about it more than I care to admit, especially since I am a single parent. I know that in the best of circumstances, I am unlikely to be around more than 30 or 35 years for him. My older son is 37 now, and those years went by so fast! I so enjoy seeing him successful in his career, happily married and a father of two. Will I get to see Jonathan do these things? Of course, no one has the answer to that.
The prospect of old age is certainly more appealing now than it has ever been. I want to live to be 100, at least! My dad lived to be 95 (and by the way, he was 50 when I was born, and my mother was 46), so I had him for 45 years. I hope I am around that long for my two boys.
The sweet lady in the picture? That is Miss Dottie, my neighbor for over 20 years. On Feb. 20, she will turn 96. Jon and I visit her at the nursing home whenever we can. She was never blessed with children, and I am sure she would love to have a 46 year old son!
I will continue to focus on the joy every day brings, and to cherish each moment with my children and grandchildren. The future holds no guarantees for any of us, whatever our age. May we experience each day to the fullest, mindful of the beauty of everyday life.